Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!