I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
3pm strippers are depressing
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.