I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
