Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
