THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
