i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
