make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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