I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
