She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
