32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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