What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
