Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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