I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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