He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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