just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
