Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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