just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
