it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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