Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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