your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Randomize
