Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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