I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
