Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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