are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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