I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
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he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
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Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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