Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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