i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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