i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
