apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
