We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
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I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
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Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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