this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
