my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Sorry my hands just texted you
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Randomize
