How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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