Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
