I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
