its not stalking. its research.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
