I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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