Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
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I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
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You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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