Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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