Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
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