I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen