Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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