I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just had sex on a roof
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
