school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
