I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just made out with a guy for $7.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
