Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
