I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
