Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
