he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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