we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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