I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
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