Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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