Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
