Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
