Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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