bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize