You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize