Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
