I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
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bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
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She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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