just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
So drunk its hurt
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
